HERE’S ANOTHER PITCH THAT I FINISHED UP TODAY. I HAD THE IDEA FOR THIS ABOUT 20 YEARS AGO (THOUGH THEY WEREN’T NINJA CHERUBS AT THE TIME) AND SORT OF LIKED THE IDEA. I DECIDED TO WORK UP A PITCH AND DO A SIX PAGE STORY. HERE’S A VERY ROUGH FIRST DRAFT.
SHADRACH AND JONES: NINJA CHERUBS
A THREE PANEL PAGE: All the panels running the width of the page. It’s night and in the city, this is a kind of Frank Miller cityscape. SHADRACH AND JONES are two cherubim who have been thrown out of heaven for being naughty, but because they are cherubim they are not exiled into Hell but down to Earth. here they must save a soul a day for 100 years and then they might…might I say…be let back in though the Pearly Gates. A little character description of our two heroes. SHADRACH is the really tough one, he looks a little like BABY HERMAN from Roger Rabbit, even down to the stogie(can we have characters smoking?), but he’s a Baby Herman that has been reimagined by some Manga artist and then filtered through the spirit of Kirby. 5 O’clock shadow and derby perched on his head, he has a real attitude. JONES is the more timid of the duo, but don’t take his timidity for cowardice, towards the end of the story his dander is raised and it’s he who saves the day. JONES: Is the “sweet” one, he got mixed up in this because of his loyalty to his friend Shadrach. BOTH will be dressed in trunks(not nappies please) and be sporting dinky little wings, just like in Raphael’s paintings. These are not the kruvim of the Old Testament but the Putti of the Rennaisance and beyond! The feel should be a mix of cartoony and hyper-reality, backgrounds influenced by Adams and Miller.
P1:We are looking across a flat rooftop at a city skyline at night.
CAPTION:NIGHT’S VELVET BLACKNESS ENFOLDS THE CITY IN IT’S PICEOUS SHADOWS.
P2:THE SAME, but now we see two pairs of dinky little feet are dropping down into the panel, one pair on our left could be a little dirty.
CAPTION: BUT THE NIGHT ALWAYS BRINGS STRANGE VISITORS, AND TONIGHT TWO ASTOUNDING DEFENDERS ARE ABOUT THEIR BUSINESS.
P2: OK we are looking up across the parapet and it is lit from beneath causing highlights and shadows on the two figures from below. A classic BATMAN and ROBIN pose, but this is SHADRACH and JONES. Shadrach is slightly crouched with his left foot on the head of a gargoyle his hands in a “karate killer” type pose. JONES is dropping down to his left and slightly behind, just like ROBIN dropping in behind BATMAN. (There’s a Mike Zeck picture of Batman and Robin kinda in this pose but I can’t find it).
CAPTION:THE NIGHT DECANTS…
CAPTION: …SHADRACH AND JONES:NINJA CHERUBS!!
4 PANEL PAGE: This is mainly on the rooftop but I’ll give individual panel descriptions.
P1: We are looking slightly above and behind the duo. Shadrach is chomping on his stogie as he looks across the gulf between the building they are on and the building across the way. We can see the cars in the streets below, he has his hands on his hips as he is looking across at the window of an apartment in the opposite building, the lights are on and the curtains are open.
CAPTION: HERE WE FIND OUR DIMINUTIVE HEROES CONTEMPLATING A NEW CHALLENGE.
JONES: SHADRACH? IS THIS THE PLACE SHADRACH?
SHADRACH.: YEAH. NOW SHUT YER YAP!
P2: We are looking back up at the pair, Shadrach tilts his battered derby a little more and blows a cloud of smoke from the side of his mouth.
CAPTION: THE TWO EXPULSED FROM HEAVEN AND CHARGED WITH SAVING A SOUL A DAY FOR ONE HUNDRED YEARS…
SHADRACH: MICKY THE FINK KNEW WHAT THIS WAS, HE PASSED ON THE DOPE TO ME.
JONES: MICHAEL? I HAVEN’T SEEN HIM IN AN AGE.
CAPTION: …THAT WAS LAST THURSDAY!
P3: We are looking across at the opposite window, through it we can see a woman putting a young child down on the floor, she’s obviously his mother, the child is about 18 months to 2 years old. He has dark hair and is wearing kiddie clothes. We can see that his room is filled with kids toys and posters and a cot-like thing against one wall to the side of the door and a chest of drawers on the other side of the door. Perhaps we could see this scene framed by Shadrach’s and Jones’ heads one on each side in silhouette.
CAPTION: A SOUL TO BE SAVED.
JONES: SO SHE’S THE ONE!
SHADRACH: NOPE, NOT HER, THE KID… LOOK THERE’S THE DEMONIC LITTLE BEGGER.
P4: A zoom into the part of the room where the chest of draws is and we can see three scaly fingers wrapping round the edge of the chest of draws and a head about halfway up the height and it is reddish and scaley wand has a couple of wee horns and we can also see a bit of its toothy mouth spread in a grin, maybe a bit of slobber. The baby has stopped playing with whatever toy it had been playing with to look up smiling at his new friends arrival.
CAPTION: KOBAL! LESSER-DEMON OF THE SIXTH RING HAS BEGUN TO STRIKE A BARGAIN.!
SHADRACH(OP): DAMN! WE’RE ALMOST TOO LATE. C’MON JONESY!
5 PANEL PAGE. This is the beginning of the fight scene.
P1: A MID-RANGE VIEW: we can see the demon KOBAL walking across the bedroom towards the toddler, the toddler is holding out his arms to embrace this new and strange toy. KOBAL is short and dumpy with a pot belly. He is covered in scales (as he’s a demon…duh!) and he has clawed feet and hannds. A bulbous little head with tiny ears and little horns. his mouth as we have seen previously is in a permanant grin and there are sharp teeth, lots of sharp teeth.
KOBAL: COME TO POPPA YA WEE DARLIN’!
KID: POOPAAA! GOO..HEE HEE HEE!
P2: Here we are looking slightly above and down on KOBAL as he looks up in shock at the window beside them, his arms still outstretched. He’s in a half-shadow as SHADRACH AND JONES are swinging into action.
P3: This is an upshot as we see SHADRACH and JONES coming in through the window, in yet again another pose reminiscent of B&R, the window’s open so there’s no noise to alert the mother.
SFX: SCHWIIIP!! SCHWIIING!!
P4: We are looking from floor level we can see S&J’s feet and legs and KOBAL and the KID in the back looking towards them.
CAPTION: OUR INTREPID HEROES ARE HERE TO SAVE THE DAY.
KOBAL: DAMN YOU SHADRACH AND JONES!
KID: GOO GOO, GAA GAA!
P5: We are looking from an elevated level. KOBAL is now running towards S&J to engage them in combat, the two are in a fighting stance and KOBAL has his arms and claws extended. The KID is sat on his tush watching the action unfold.
Okay, this is the fight scene, all you need to remember is that these are two ninja cherubs so they will have an assortment of ninja weapons, nun chucks, stars, katanas etc. keep the action flowing in a zigzag format down the page from left to right, right to left, left to right. There should be a well delineated last panel which is of KOBAL holding the KID up by one leg, ready to dump him out of the window. He looks with a smirk at the two cherubim as the kid is dangled out the window.
KOBAL: C’MON THEN YOU MOOKS…I DARE YAH!
6 PANEL PAGE
P1: A head and shoulders shot of S&J, shocked looks on their faces, particularly JONES’
CAPTION: THE DIDACTIC DUO ARE IN A FIX. KOBAL CHUCKED IN DANGER TO THE MIX.
P2: We see JONES leaping towards the KID as he is falling out the window. KOBAL has dropped him. He stands with his hand open and we see the KID’S legs as they fall past the sill.
P3: We are looking from inside the room towards SHADRACH and KOBAL as SHADRACH leaps towards the demon intent on wringing his neck.
SHADRACH: WHY YOU…!
P4: A close up on SHADRACH and KOBAL. SHADRACH has the demon by the neck and is drawing his fist back to punch out his lights.
SFX (OP): FLUTTER-FLUTTER-FLUTTER
P5: We see JONES framed by the window with the KID cradled in his left arm and a katana in his right hand pointing downwards. SHADRACH and KOBAL are looking up at him, he seems to be in a righteous light and he has an extremely grim look on his face.
P6: We are looking from behind JONES and a little to the side so that we can see his face as he hands the KID to SHADRACH.
JONES: EXCUSE ME-COULD YOU HOLD HIM PLEASE SHADRACH?
SHADRACH: UH- SURE!
OK I NEED YOU (WHOEVER THE ARTIST MAY BE) TO LOOK AT THIS FROM THE DESIGN SIDE. THIS IS A SEVEN PANEL PAGE WITH PANELS 1 TO 6 ARRAYED IN THE TOP HALF OF THE PAGE, WITH PANEL 7 BEING A LARGE PANEL AT THE BOTTOM. Panels 1 to 4 is basically the same panels in design, but with the expressions of the two characters ( SHADRACH and the KID) changing in accordance with the pasting that JONES is giving KOBAL.
P1: SHADRACH has the KID in his arms as he’s wating the fight which is going on in silhoutte at the foreground of the panel. These panels can be head and shoulders shots of SHADRACH and the KID. The shadows of the two combatants are going from one side of the panel to the next. Try to makle the expressions as cartoony and funny as you can.
JONES: TAKE THAT YOU SWINE!
JONES: HAVE AT THEE HELLSPAWN!
KOBAL: NO! NO! NO! NOOOO!
JONES: COME ON YOU SISSY!
P5: This is a shot of JONES kneeling above KOBAL his katana held in both hands as he readies for the killing blow.
CAPTION: MILD MANNERED JONES NOW BRINGS AN END TO THE DEMON SPAWN KOBAL AND SENDS HIM BACK TO HIS OWN QUITE CORNER OF DAMNATION.
P6: This is a shot as JONES brings the katana down with both hands an almost diabolical look on his face. KOBAL’S hands come up into the frame jerked up by the killing blow.
P7: THIS TAKES UP THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE BLEEDING UPWARDS BEHIND THE OTHER PANELS. We see the two cherubs flying up and out of the window, in perspective, the brightly lit window behind them, the KID looking up at them in adoration, the two flying upwards beside each other the cityscape behind them and the bulk of the apartment building too. in the middle of the floor there stands the katana piercing a cloud of smoke that is rising around it and dissipating.
CAPTION: ONCE AGAIN OUR INTREPID HEROES HAVE SAVED ANOTHER SOUL FROM THE CLUTCHES OF THE DEMON HOARDES – ANOTHER SOUL THAT WILL GO ON TO INSPIRE.